A man decides to have a face-lift for his birthday. He spends $5000 and feels realy good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a news stand and buys a paper.
Before leaving, he says to the clerk, 'I hpe you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I AM?
"About 35, " was the reply.
"I"m actually 47' "the man says, feeling really happy.
After that he goes into Frankies for lunch and asks the clerk the same question.
The reply is, "Oh, you look about 29".
"I am actually 47."
Later, while standing at a bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old, and my eyesight is going. But when i was young, there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If i put my hand down your pants and plays with your balls for 10 minutes, i will be able to tell your exact age."
As there was no one around, the man thinks, what the hell and lets her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later, the old lady says, Okay, its done. You are 47."...
"How did you die?", the first one asks. "Oh i died in a freezer," the second blone replied. 
del.icio.us